Hospitality

So, I have been thinking a lot about hospitality since Michael and I moved into our new place. Those of you who know me well understand that social situations are not easy for me. My body literally freezes at the thought of having to try and carry on a conversation with someone who I don't know very well. I assume that they won't be interested in anything that I have to say or that I will say something stupid before the encounter is over. I spent many afternoons and evenings alone in my dorm room because I was too scared to go out and form new relationships. The only ones that I had were with outgoing individuals who, God bless them, took the time to develop a relationship with me.



When I met Michael, one of the things that I fell in love with was his ability to engage ANYONE! He can make you feel like the most interesting and clever person in the room in a matter of minutes. It made me feel more secure than I had ever felt before. When we were first married, I let myself hold on to that security for myself instead of using it to step out of my own boat of social phobia.



I like to think that since I like to cook I am hospitable when in fact the opposite has been true. I truly enjoy cooking for our families, but my dream evening includes a yummy new dish with my hubby and kitty and no one else- my husband and cat know who I am and over time have convinced me that the real me is okay. Since it would be too honest to admit that I am scared to reach out to new people, I would hide behind our small dining room table. I would tell myself that if only we could accommodate more people, I would be more likely to invite acquaintances over in an attempt to get to know them better and share God's love.



As soon as we found our new rental, Michael and I started talking about buying a dining room table. We wanted to have room to develop relationships with people from our church and to deepen the relationships with our friends and family. As it was being delivered on Saturday I started to think about the reality of having people over. Family- well that was pretty safe. They love me no matter what. Friends- well there are a few in the area that I feel comfortable enough with to be myself. Acquaintances- Uh oh! What will I say? What will I do? Will they like me? Will I act in a manner that will be pleasing to the Lord if I can't think of anything to say to them? Will my fear paralyze me? Then, God gave me the opportunity to learn to trust him with this issue this past weekend.

We went out to dinner with several people who Michael works with. I ended up at the end of the table with another couple and the first few moments were filled with silence after the standard greeting remarks. I began to over think...and then pray...Lord give me something to say. He answered my prayer and at the end of the evening even Michael commented that I was much more social than he had expected. Now as I look at the table above in our dining room I am reminded that it is not just a piece of furniture. It is a tool to share the love of Christ through hospitality so don't be surprised if I invite you over some time soon! And if I don't...please call me on it.