Life...it never seems to go as planned

Today I was thinking about my life and the plans that I had for my life 12 years ago when I graduated from high school. At that time, I knew that the next step would be college. Although it took some time for me to figure out what I wanted to do with my life, attending a Christian college was the vital piece of that puzzle. However, the school that I thought that should attend, versus the school that God had in mind for me didn't match up. Life wasn't going as planned. Years later I would be able to see why I needed to go to the school that I did...I wouldn't have met my husband otherwise, but at the time it felt like another instance of things not going as planned.

Once I realized that God was calling me into secondary teaching at a public high school, I put all of my time and effort into finishing what my parents had wanted for me...earning a degree and starting a career which would enable me to support myself regardless of what the future would bring. However, a horrible grammar course and a recommendation from a professor which all but bluntly stated that I was not teacher material, made me start to question what I had planned. I began to consider changing my major with only one semester to go. Things were not going as planned. However, this was all part of the growing experience and I kept moving forward with my current major. I made it through the semester and moved home.



By the spring of 2003, I had earned my BA in English and was teaching full-time at my current school site. Despite the negative recommendation, I was quickly hired and viewed as a valuable member of my department. Things seemed to be going as planned for the first time in a long time. I had achieved the career that I wanted... but I was alone.

I never dreamed that I would graduate from a Christian college with a degree and no prospects of a loving Christian husband. Although outwardly I tried to smile and trust that God has plans for me, but inwardly I wasn't convinced. Perhaps the companionship that I so desired was not what God wanted for me?
Then, out of nowhere I met Michael. I never dreamed that God was preparing me for a man living in Gilroy. Everything about our story screams of God's provision for us. We met at the perfect time, got engaged at the perfect time, Michael got a job in the northbay at the perfect time...God knew that plans that he had for me even when I thought that all hope was lost.



Now, life is moving ahead and things might seem pretty good to those from the outside looking in on our lives. However, life at this point is very different from what I had planned. Marriage is different, not bad but anyone who is married knows that it is not all roses and champagne- marriage is wonderful but it takes work everyday. Family is not what I had planned for this point in my life that isn't easy. My life seems to be screaming...but Lord this is not what I planned!!!

And there is the problem..."I"...do I really want what I have planned? Can a sinner like me really know what is best for my life? Do I even have the capacity to understand God's plans for my life? When I look back on my life, it seems that the things that didn't go according to plan were the things that ended up being perfect examples of God's amazing grace and mercy in my life. So...I am learning to rejoice when things don't go according to plan. My life has shown me that His mercies are new every morning.